Kellie Wuttunee

Red Pheasant Cree Nation

"Tansi, my name is Kellie Wuttunee; I’m twenty eight years old from the Red Pheasant Cree Nation. I was asked to speak about a barrier that I faced and how I overcame it. So, I’ll just give you a little background of where I’m coming from and the barrier that I’ve faced before tonight. My life had changed very much since the first part of this study. I was working full time and taking care of my three children. My youngest of the three, Noah became ill and was rushed to Saskatoon ICU where he went thru numerous tests and seen many specialists. Upon my arrival at the hospital my son was diagnosed with Epilepsy and it was told me to me by the pediatric neurologist my son Noah had suffered brain damage and there was uncertainty of how much brain damage he had or how his life would be effected by this trauma. Out of this crisis I became very connected with my faith and Cree culture and spirituality and my sobriety. I wanted to be the role model that I needed to be for my children as a single parent working against the perceived stereotypes of First Nation woman i.e. (poor, abused and no education). It took sometime for me to be able to accept my son’s disability and to change my lifestyle to fit his special needs. Not a day goes by that I don’t thank the Creator for sending Noah to me and blessing my life as well as my other two children. Noah has taught me that even the simple things in life are much to be grateful for, that life itself is valuable and to always dream big and do the impossible. Out of this crisis came my passion to advocate for First Nations children with special needs for equality within Canada, because I face the very same challenges many others mothers face receiving the adequate services for their children with special needs. I did the impossible and moved across Canada to South Western Ontario and went to graduate school; I convocated this fall with my Masters in Social Work with the focus in the Aboriginal Field of Study. Previous, received my Bachelors of Social Work degree when I was twenty two years old. I was raised by my father and mother Eldon and Elsie Wuttunee, and growing up in high school they stressed to me that education was a priority and it was, it was what I needed to get ahead in life. With my father and mother’s guidance and support I never gave up on university despite having faced many challenges and being a single parent having three small children in university. I also have the experience working as a young professional and being one of the youngest in the workplace with First Nations communities and First Nation agencies. 

The barrier that challenged me with accepting my son’s special needs, going back to graduate school and what helped me recover from this crisis about was what I needed to overcome was my low self esteem, and what I learned throughout the past ten years that I’ve been working and helping in my profession was self care. I learned that living a healthy lifestyle it’s a must for me, I have to fight for it. I work full time and I have three small children, so self care is one thing that I learned to take care, to do for myself because nobody else can take care of me. So, my thing that I do, do is I live a drug and alcohol free lifestyle and that’s the life that I chose to role model for my children and family members. How I overcame the negative barriers being a young professional was again, starting with myself, accepting myself for who I am: a young, strong, independent Cree woman. Accepting my flaws and being grateful to the Creator for the life that I do have and being humble, and looking at myself on the inside and experiences forgiveness. 

So, with that, thank you for your time and I want to end with this quote, the quote is by Charles Swindel: “the longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude to me is more important than facts, it is more than past and education, than money than circumstance than failures than success than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance or gifted ability or skill. It will make or break a company, a church, a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice, everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past, we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way, we cannot change the inevitable, the only thing that we can do is play on the string that we have, and this string is attitude. I am convinced that life is ten percent what happens to me and ninety percent of how I react to it. So it is with you, we are in charge of our attitudes, so, with that I’d like to thank all the youth that I met throughout the experience in the project and thank you for letting me into your lives. And I am blessed to know each and every one of you, thank you."

Denise Bird

Mosquito First Nation

"My name is Denise Bird and I am from Mosquito First Nation, located 20 min. South of Battleford. I lived in the city of North Battleford, until the death of my mother in 1989, at which time I moved in with my father on his reserve, Moosomin First Nation, 20 min. North of North Battleford. My childhood up until that time had been very tumultuous and regrettably scarring. I was 12 at that time and about to hit puberty, so needless to say, I was an angry and very rebellious young girl, dealing with issues of abandonment, grief and so many other emotions that I was never really taught how to deal with. So, for years I tormented my father with misguided actions and reactions to his methods of discipline; all of which, I regret now of course, hindsight being the 20/20 that it is. At that time, his traditional lifestyle was difficult for me to adapt to as I grew up in the city; but, thanks to his insistence, I became active in many native ceremonies and traditions. Now that I am a mother of teenage children myself, I can look back and fully appreciate his teachings and, as well, the heartache my poor Father endured. 

After his death in 1996, I was forced to face life on my own with, what at the time I considered, minimal life skills and just the bare amount of tools needed to apply those skills. So, I set out, making countless mistakes and terrible choices which led to the very unhappy life of a 20 something year old young woman. All of which, would have been avoided had I not been so stubborn and took the time to listen to my Father. But as it turned out, I was listening…. I was taught a high sense of self-awareness and self-worth, which eventually allowed for me the courage and motivation to explore the depths of my own psyche. Learning, throughout the following years and through many hours of counseling, the reasons I allowed myself to fall into misguided predicaments time and time again. And through this path of healing, I have found a woman, strong in her beliefs of family values, native traditions and the healing power of self-forgiveness. 

As a result, I advocate stability in the home where young children reside to nurture their sense of self-worth and allow them to discover their full potential. This security, brought through stability, is essential in building strong communities and the future leaders within those communities. Thank you for listening to my story. hiy, hiy."

Lillian Pooyak

Red Pheasant First Nation

"Good evening, welcome to the Elders, it’s always nice to know, to see you people. When I was first approach uh, about this project, I didn’t know what body image was. When I was talking to Tanya, I told her “you know what Tanya, I don’t have the body, do I have to have a body like a model in order to participate in this project?” I didn’t know. Anyways, I started to understand and she explained to me what it was all about, and there, then I had a good idea what it was all about. 

Anyway, today I feel good. I feel really good, I’m sixty six years old and I’ve had, I’ve been through, I’ve had to overcome a lot of obstacles. I’m one of those people in the fifties and sixties that have been to residential schools. One of those people that got picked up when I was just young, picked up from my parents and loaded onto the bus. From then on, my life changed. Seeing my parents outside the log cabin, they had tears in their eyes when we were whisked away. And today when I think about it, I have freedom, I can’t even imagine what it’s like, you know, for your kids to taken away like that. I have two children. I could never have imagined the feeling that my parent’s experienced. They had no say whatsoever, we were just whisked away. I remember, they were looking up, I was crying, sitting on the bus there. My dad was crying, my mother was crying. And then, later on in life when my mother told us, I just sat there, we left, they used to walk around outside and cry every day, cause we were just young kids. From then on, like I said, you know, my life was ok when I was living with my parents. There was eleven of us in the family, and, the day you know when I got to the residential school, my sister Agnes is sitting over there, she didn’t even know a word of English, I remember the first day in class, the teacher asked, and pointed out to an apple: “What’s this?” She said “It’s a was”. She didn’t even know, how to say apple in English. 

Anyway, my life, like I said, you know turned around, after the residential school. At a very young age we experienced physical abuse, emotional abuse, we couldn’t even speak our language. We couldn’t even practice our cultural and traditional lifestyle. And, so that was my life. I don’t know if I can go on and talk about that, just, I have the gift of the “the yak”. One time, I did a presentation about my life story, when I looked at the clock; I realized that I had talked for three quarters of an hour without stopping. A lot of the people came up to me after and said “you know that’s a very powerful story that you have” of what happened to us, you know the obstacles that we had to overcome in life. I didn’t start, you know by taking a good look at myself, until I was after forty. I was sexually abused at the residential schools at a very young age, so I never felt good about myself. And then one day, I went and talked to an Elder, which change my life. From then on, you know, I started to feel good about myself, about who I am and I continue to work on myself and I will continue to work on myself for the rest of my life. Like I said, you know my life span is not very long, and I’m going to happy. Every morning I get up, I always say “you know, today I’m going to be happy”. Every time that I fall, I get out of it. I would rather be, be healthy, then to have that life. I’d rather be happy, I’d rather wake up happy than to have to deal with that past. Anyway, I would like to pass this message along to each and every one of you. You know always come to look at the positive things in life. The positive side first instead of wasting our time concentrating on the negatives. Always find something good in a person, and always think about your spirituality. I’m a firm believer we need our spirituality in order to heal, that’s how I changed my life around. I could go on and tell you things, things I’m not very proud that I did in my life, and uh, I wasn’t a very good parent, and those are the things you know that I get emotional when I do my presentations, is how I treated my children. I thought the way I was strapped, the way I was physically abused, I thought that was the way you’re supposed to discipline your children, and today, it bothers me. But, I have to learn to forgive myself. I have to learn to accept who I am, and it took me a long, long time. I thought, you know, the Church was the only way. I don’t have anything against anybody’s spirituality. I think, you know it’s very powerful regardless of which spiritual way that you believe in and it is very important. I respect all religions. 

But in my life, I found the way that really helped me, the traditional way. And also, look at yourself, don’t forget who you are, don’t forget where you came from. And like I said, I love myself today. I have, those of you that know me, you probably know that I always find humor in everything. I really miss the people that I worked with over at the Battleford Indian Health Center, I had good times with them. I’m uh working part time, with uh, BTC Childhood Family Services, and that, I’m happy with that. So in closing, don’t forget who we are. Thank you very much. "

Lynn Tootoosis

Poundmaker First Nation

"Hello, can you hear me good? I want to commend the beautiful ladies that came up before me. That took a lot of courage. Most of you know probably know me as Betty, born Betty Lynn Tootoosis. I recently changed it to Lynn simply because I prefer Lynn, no other reason. I want to start by thanking Sonya for inviting me to share a few words this evening. I also like to thank, the University of Saskatchewan for conducting the study and BTC for participating in it. I’ve MC’ed at two large weddings and I don’t know why I wasn’t nervous back then, I’ve also MC’ed three different graduations, so I can only assume that its’ because what I am going to share is coming from my emotional self. I want to start by sharing a little story. 

During the time that this study started and that I accepted to be a participant, some things happened in my life, in a very short period. I was working here in North Battleford as a Mobilization Worker and I thoroughly enjoyed my job. I was working with young women, with single moms and with youth. Six months into my job, my mother took sick and that would be two winters ago in December. We started noticing different behaviors. She was living home alone on the reserve, so that would have been around December when we seen the signs. By March I decided I needed to quit my job and go get my mom. She came to live with me here in town and within that first few months she just refused to go the doctor, she didn’t really like going to the doctors. Life is full of problems whether you’re sober or you’re using. Problems are a fact of life and sometimes it storms and sometimes we get gentle snow falls, but for that winter, for me, it was a wicked snow storm. Within a few months my mother was diagnosed with cancer and a week before she was diagnosed, my younger brother was killed by a drunk driver. Six months after she was diagnosed and she was going into chemo, my common-law husband and I separated after twelve years. So it was just one thing after another. 

And in that process I was still taking care of my mother and somebody said earlier tonight that it’s so easy to forget about ourselves, as women. We don’t know where that strength comes in from but it just manages to kick in. That’s what happened with me, it just kicked in. In April, my youngest daughter was rubbing my back one evening, and she noticed a lump on my back, probably about the size of my pinky nail and she said “mom you have a lump in your back” and I knew it was tender there but I wouldn’t pay any attention to it, I used to lift my mom a lot from the wheelchair to the bed and so forth so I thought maybe I pulled a muscle and I ignored it, and within a few months I noticed it would be more painful. This went on for months and finally beginning of June I felt the size of my pinky nail, that tumor was the size, probably about half the size of my palm. And then I couldn’t ignore it anymore, I couldn’t lift my mother anymore. I knew I needed to take care of it. So, I made arrangements with the care-home and they took my mother and my sisters came up to help me. I sat with my mom and I told her, and for those of you who don’t know my mother, my late mother, she was a very devoted Christian. I sat with her one evening and I told her “Mom” I said, “I have to take care of this lump on my back and what I decided to do was go through with our traditional way of healing”. She fully supported me; she nodded her head and said “oohh”. At that point that was all she said because she wasn’t able to speak. So, I left her for two weeks. Before I left they gave me a choice, either a needle biopsy or they were going to completely remove the tumor. I chose the second option to completely remove it. It was a scary time for me, a really scary time. They said results would take between seven to ten days to come back. 

So I made arrangements, I phoned some friends up North and told them what was going on and they just supported me. So I went to the ceremonies, it was probably for me the most spiritually educational two weeks of my entire life. It was quiet the awakening. I went to Sundance, and I went to Ghost dance and I went to sweats and I went to speak with the grandmothers. I learned how to tan hide, dry meat it was just an awesome two weeks. And when I got back I knew that I was going to eventually have to get that call from the doctor. So when I got back, I came back with a renewed energy and renewed strength, and sure enough I got that call and left a message when I was gone so I called him as soon as I got home and I remember just feeling really weak when I got this call. They don’t tell you anything on the phone these doctors, they just phone and tell you your results are back and you need to see. So I went to the office and, and just continued to think positive, so the tests were negative, and I was relieved! And it was just all during that time I was supposed to be working on this study, on this project. So I took my camera with me when I went up North to sit with the grandmother’s that I was going to meet and I was just in awe. I mean these women that I met are so spry and so energetic. But a barrier for me was my inability to speak full Cree. I mean I can get by, I can get by but to speak really fluently with the old people is a goal that I’ve set for myself. So I would ask questions while we were tanning hides or dry meat or whatever we were doing I would be asking questions. So, I asked them things like, “so what was it like when you were my age, how difficult was it to be a woman”? And the answers she would give me would be just as direct, just as specific as the questions that I was asking. She would tell me in as the best as I could translate, she would say things like “it’s really simple, it’s really simple, out there and, and meanings out there she meant away from her home which was a home that had no running water, they had a tanning area in the back, they had a sweat area in the back. They didn’t have a TV; they had a big wood stove in the middle their living room, that was how they lived. This is how they still live. So she would say things like “out there you guys have a really complicated life, it’s so busy and it’s so fast, and you got lost in it, and all you really need to do is come back. Creator gave us this spirit, to guide you, to walk with you, to protect you, and somewhere, somehow out there you’ve got, you’ve got lost”. 

I thought that was simple to cut myself out of that rat race of defining you know, what is success. But really what is success? Is it what you drive, is it how your home looks, is it the clothes you wear, or is it about how much you appreciate your body and your health? So that really taught me a lot. I‘ve been a single mom also, and I can relate with you Christina. I’m a recovering addict. Widowed at twenty nine with three children. It’s a real struggle, and I want to just take this moment, I used to always think years and years ago, eighteen, nineteen, I guess nineteen years ago, I used to always think that one of these days I’m going to have that opportunity to publicly thank two very special people in my life, and I think tonight just kind of fits. I don’t know where they are sitting right now, but my Uncle Arsene and my Aunty Kim, are they still here? Can you stand up please? This is my Aunty Kim. I used to hear people talk about to love one another, to respect each other, to, to empower each other, to be good to each other. Widowed at twenty nine I ran to alcohol to ease my pain. And I didn’t’ really think anybody cared because nobody ever really said anything to me. And my Aunty here was a guidance counselor and she brought me into her school that time, and my kids were missing school a lot, so she did a home visit with me. And, I, I always remember that day really, really clear because that, to me was my first time somebody ever did that for me. She came to see me at my house and I was lying on the couch and I was hung over and depressed. She came over and visited me, and that was the most powerful thing that anybody has ever done for me, was to reach out a hand, and she said “I’m here whenever you need me, whenever you’re ready”. So I want to thank you for that Aunty, I love you. And it starts there, so eventually, yah, I did learn to walk on my own and, I went into life skills training and I went into addiction counseling training, and I’m currently pursuing a bachelor of Health Sciences degree at Lethbridge University.

I have passion to learn about addictions because it has been my barrier. And it’s incredible, how incredibly mean people can be in our communities, and I don’t know how any other way I can be tactful about that. The problems that we have today our grandmother’s didn’t have or our great grandmothers didn’t have, so they’re still kind of new, and how powerful it can be to put that hand out, to those that want it, or maybe don’t know they want it, but as long it’s there when they need it or when they’re ready for it. I was one of those fortunate ones. I wasn’t into myself, I really wasn’t. And I’m really, really grateful that I did because it created an awareness of my own health and how incredibly important it is to listen to our bodies. I’ve waited seven months for the tumor to get to the size it was before I actually did anything about it. Just as a message that I brought from the grandmothers is, is how important balance is. Balance and simplicity. Walking doesn’t cost a dime. Being mindful of what we shop for when we’re grocery shopping just takes a little bit of research. 

I want to end with just a few more words here. I asked, I had to ask Sonya here in the beginning how much time did we have to speak and she said “oh it’s up to you!” I failed to mention that I was born with the gift of “gab” so I want to control that tonight. I want to encourage all of the daughters of the earth, all the young moms and the young women that we have here, embrace your beauty and health. Healthy body images is not Pocahontas, it’s about loving yourself. It’s about appreciating all of the gifts that Creator gave you. Believe in yourself. I want to encourage you, just to keep on. Healthy body image starts when you become comfortable in your own skin and at the age that I’m at, nobody ask, I’m really finally comfortable in my own skin and I really thank the U of S for this study, it really taught me a lot and I’m in a new place, in a new place in my journey and I absolutely love it. And with that, Hiy Hiy! "

Kimberly Tootoosis

"Good evening. I’d like to first thank the organizers who prepared this gala this evening. I want to welcome our old ones, the wise ones and all the women present and the families here to support them. As well, I thank BTC Indian Health and the University of Saskatchewan for honoring and bringing women together to share their voices and words of wisdom. Never before have we been at a most critical moment in our life as women, as mothers, as grandmothers and as daughters. The time is here that we need to be completely and fully aware of the challenges that we are facing and the role that we play and the shift and changes that are happening very, very fast. I want to congratulate those women who participated in this most important study. I honor you and I am humbled to be here in your presence and to hear you speak this evening. When I was driving here with my husband who happens to also be my greatest support, I shared with him this feeling that rises anytime I am in front of a crow to speak. It is not anxiety but rather this excitement I’ve come to acknowledge and identify with as humility. I was told very early in my career that it was important I never lose sight of that, that I always maintain that and that I always welcome that humility and excitement to be able speak in front of people. I was told that if you ever lose sight of that then you lose your humility, your humbleness. For the women that got up to speak and you felt that anxiety or that excitement, that nervousness, know this is a gift. Simply accept that, embrace it, welcome it because you’re a beautiful, humble person with messages from the heart. 

We hear the word mentor a lot on this path of life. The significance of mentors and guides and the role they can play is a natural support system in our traditional family systems. It is a valuable resource we can each identify and build in our own circle of support. I have acknowledged many mentors in my life having recognized how important they have been and how very much a part of my journey they have supported, nurtured or strengthened. When I felt that I needed someone to talk to then I’d seek that person out or I’d stay open and know and trust that Creator would send me that mentor to me and it has happened many times. Teachers seem to cross our path as we need them. Let us also remember the specifically the womentors (a play on words that emphasized WOMAN as contrary MENtors). These are the grandmothers, mothers and aunties who protect, guide and nurture our family systems. These can be the women who also lead and confront the issues that need to be confronted. We can note many new roles we play both as men and women in contemporary society. We live in a new age and we can draw on the strengths and wisdom of our traditional foundations. 

We have this gift as women and that is our natural intuition is a deeper knowing of what is and it is up to each of us to honor that part of us. I sometimes call it a God feeling because it is a way in which Creator speaks to us and we need to learn to listen to this deep knowing. This is a powerful gift each of us has been granted. How many of you recall a time when you said “oh jeez if I had only listen to myself, if I had only followed that first idea or thought or feeling that came up for me”. I encourage you all to nurture that natural gift. 

I look back over my life and identify those role models or mentors who have helped me along the way. I think of my Kunsi (Grandmother in Nakota), who spoke truth as the women did tonight. She spoke from the deep part and modeled that to me at a very young age, humility so true. She didn’t sugar coat her life nor did she brag of glories in her life. She spoke about the challenges she had as a young women and as a young mother. She spoke of the challenges in being in a relationship and her struggles with addictions. She spoke with confidence about the struggles faced in abusive relationship. As well she identified the challenges that she had even when her children were adults. She stated how she needed to take responsibility as a mother who raised those children. I always remember her and especially her words of truth that echoed throughout my life. Keep in mind that you are also a role model and know how stories of learning and truth can assist and help someone. For a young teenage girl to witness the profound wisdom and emotional expression was impactful, imbedding in me such deep lessons in life. She showed me a healing process in meeting the challenges life offers up to us and that by far is one of the greatest techniques. That great mentor of mine has now passed. 

Cherish and value your experiences and successes. We all come into this world with a purpose. What if my purpose was to come in and learn about pain, what if my purpose was to come into this world and to learn about how to forgive, what if my purpose was to come into his world to be love, to share and support, and encourage others. We all have this purpose coming into this world. The words shared by women this evening recognizes the gifts they have to share. Together we heard stories of survival and resilience. Many faced barriers and overcame them. Low self esteem became self worth and self-love. Some women are single parents and doing the best they can. Others deal with grief issues and found peace. The invitation is to look at what still hurts in our lives. We can overcome addictions or prevent addictions from overwhelming us if we clear the unresolved pain and traumas. Let us also find the compassion to sit and listen to each other completely, wholeheartedly and be fully present with each other. It is vital to be open and accepting and non –judgemental in listening and supporting others through their healing stories. I do believe the skill of listening needs to be refined in that we need to learn how to be fully present with someone and do heart work. 

As women we have the ability to do just that. The more we clear and live from a place of wellness we are able to do that easily and confidently. The courage to heal was modelled to us tonight by the presenters. What a gift to us. 

In the years that I worked with families and within communities I see individuals take the step and make the choice to heal. It is a matter of choice. The ability to make that choice was taken away in the era of residential school. Some of our parents, grandparents, great grandparents didn’t have a choice and the one way to destroy or attempt to destroy a nation or community is to take the children away. We are in a process of regaining that choice in many ways and we witness that strength here. 

I encourage all to stay true to self. Know your history and know where you come from. As women, we are taking our rightful place one again. I have married into the community of Poundmaker and chose to raise my children there. My mother is Nakota from Carry the Kettle and of the Ryder family. My father is from Northern Manitoba and he is Cree and of the Scribe family. I have found a place where I felt as much at home as I did in Northern Manitoba with the rivers and the islands and that is on Poundmaker. This is home for me now and this is home for my children. The greatest gift we can give our children is strong roots. 

Shift is happening and we are overcoming lateral violence and oppression. I see powerful women in this Tribal council. I see Lillian Pooyak and she was a role model to me when I was a guidance counselor starting out early in my social work career. See those powerful women in our tribal territory and in our communities. Let us recognize each other all in a good way. 

In the healing process, it becomes very important to include the children. Within the family system, I have older siblings that began their healing process from addictions, both drugs and alcohol, from family violence and marital breakup’ they too are my role models. Sometimes I see people get on the path of healing and they forgot about the children. I sometimes hear those adult children speak about being forgotten. One of the most courageous acts today is to take that initiative to start our healing processes. It is the same courage as that warrior that staked himself to the ground and fought in battle to the end, even if it meant death. The courage to go and sit in complete exposure of our truths and emotions about ourselves exists today. We are healing and will continue to do what needs to be done for the generations to come. 

The invitation is there for each and every one of us and it is further validated and extended by the speakers tonight and by this project we are representing tonight. We have been given an opportunity to come together and the encouragement is there to continue doing what needs to be done. I encourage you to continue on your personal journey, I encourage the women to continue to speak truth, to stand tall and experience life to the fullest. The other day I had this awakening or realization that I’m going to be 50 in a year in a half. And the realization went further; well that’s half my life! And if I’m fortunate and blessed may I live to be 100 years old and come to be a little kookum. I don’t know what the creator has in store for me. I was telling my husband “I have about 50 years left and we need to live life to the fullest with whatever time we have left” I face the challenge of diabetes as many of our people do unfortunately. That can change as we become healthy and strong again and teach healthy lifestyles to our children. In January, I decided to get serious and started to take the initiative as the women here have been doing and I’m going to give it all I have and I encourage you as well because life is worth living. We still have so much to experience. 

I want to thank the family members who stood by all the women here and the friends, the loves, the partners, parents, grandparents, and whoever it was that gives you that vitality or desire to be here in this moment and in this life. 

There is a poem I want to share with you in closing because I really believe that invitation is always there to return to ourselves. It is called “The Invitation” and it is by Oriah Moutain Dreamer. Some of you may be familiar with it. 


It doesn't interest me what you do for a living
I want to know what you ache for
and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing. 

It doesn't interest me how old you are
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool
for love
for your dreams
for the adventure of being alive. 

It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon... 
I want to know if you have been touched by the center of your own sorrow
if you have been opened by life's betrayals
or have become shriveled and closed
from fear of further pain. 

I want to know if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it. 

I want to know if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your
fingers and toes
without cautioning us to
be careful
be realistic
to remember the limitations of being human. 

It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me
is true. 
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself. 

If you can bear the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul. 
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy. 

I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty
every day. 
And if you can source your own life
from its presence. 

I want to know if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand on the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon, 
"Yes." 

It doesn't interest me
to know where you live or how much money you have. 
I want to know if you can get up
after a night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children. 

It doesn't interest me who you know
or how you came to be here. 
I want to know if you will stand
in the center of the fire
with me
and not shrink back. 

It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom
you have studied. 
I want to know what sustains you
from the inside
when all else falls away. 

I want to know if you can be alone
with yourself
and if you truly like the company you keep
in the empty moments. 

I thank you all for being patient and for listening to me. I looked around and see so many familiar faces. I acknowledge the children and all the young people. There is a new generation here and they are going to create a shift and they are going to be powerful leaders. Let us put that prayer forward and feel the hope of a greater tomorrow for our generations to come. It is of survival, of overcoming, of that resilience, that ability to bounce back and persevere. We have all role modeled to the young ones. The best gift we can give our children is to heal ourselves. I’ve come to believe that and I’ve come to experience that. That is the energy and that is the vision. 

I wish for each of you, your prayers answered and your vision and goals become a reality. When we think positively and see the hope, feel the hope, it does become reality. I saw many people’s dreams and hope shared and reflected in the speakers tonight. 

My gratitude to the organizing committee and to my sisters in the room, my mothers and my grandmothers, the children and all the men here who have come to support the women this evening. Thank you. "

Presentations

• Photovoice Presentation: This was played throughout the Gala evening - a glimpse of both the Women and Youth photovoice projects.
• Strong Women Presentation: Featured presentation during the gala evening.

Media Coverage